It’s been a long time coming but the Armchair Policeman is just about ready to join the ranks of the other fantasy football trophies on FantasyTrophies.com. I finished the sculpting phase of the trophy some time ago but it’s been a longer process getting it up on the site. FantasyTrophies.com is going to be relaunched soon with an entirely different look and feel and I figured that would be the ideal time to roll out the new trophy that was designed specifically for police officers. As some of you already know from a previous post, I had the great pleasure of working with a few individuals from the NYPD in coming up with the design. They had some key features that they felt had to be incorporated when I started sculpting. I was surprised a donut was one of them. The burly mustache and aviator glasses I must say were a nice touch and I took it upon myself to add the shoulder holster. A special shout out goes to Fish from “Barney Miller” for that one. Add a night stick and handcuffs on the floor and you have one fantasy football trophy that will no doubt turn some heads. So if you’re a policeman looking for a trophy to represent your precinct’s fantasy football league this year, shoot me an email and I’ll make it happen. – Dave
I’ve engraved my fair share of fantasy football trophy title plates over the last few years and I’m always intrigued by some of the names leagues come up with. A lot go for just a standard title that states the name of the league with an established date underneath. I gotta say, I’m not a big fan of these. On the creativity scale I’m going to give it a 1.9 outta 10. I mean really, let’s spend a little more time and think of a name for the trophy. Memorable trophies are often referred to by a single word and not by what they represent. You don’t call the Heisman the “Best Player In College Football Award” or the Lombardi the “Super Bowl Championship Trophy.” Likewise, a fantasy football trophy should have a unique name, that when referred to, is synonymous with your league. Think “The Shiva” trophy from the television show “The League.”
My league’s trophy is named “The Fedele” after a memorable individual who would drink an entire can of Genny Cream Ale, in one pour, while lying down on his back and never lifting his head off the ground. Give it a try and I think you’d see he was deserving of a fantasy football trophy being named in his honor. It’s practically water boarding with beer. Every time we refer to our trophy we think of ol’ Bill and his amazing talent. Not to mention his epic love for tailgating and the Cleveland Browns. The guy was, and still is, a true legend deserving of our lasting tribute.
So when it’s finally time to come up with a name for your trophy, think long and hard. Don’t go the easy route but instead think of something that will add some humor and history. Believe me, you’ll be happy you didn’t name it the “FFL Championship Trophy, Est. 2015.”
My buddies Bill and Dan with “The Fedele” fantasy football trophy.
I don’t think there is an athlete in the world today that is easier to root for than Jordan Spieth. Not just in golf, but I mean any athlete in any sport. Sure he’s incredibly gifted and came one stroke away from being in a 4 hole playoff with a chance to win the British Open and keep his hopes of a Grand Slam alive. But that’s not why I make such a statement. It’s how he handles himself and stays true to his upbringing. Spieth remained in the states the week prior to the British Open and played in the John Deere Classic because he said they gave him a chance when he turned pro. He said he felt an obligation to show his thanks. How many athletes do such a thing? Not to mention when they’re on the cusp of history as Spieth was. Oh, did I mention he then went out and won the tournament? The real icing on the cake for me though came in his defeat at the British Open. Spieth could easily have done a quick interview, showered, and stayed inside the clubhouse before jumping on a jet and heading back to the states. That’s not Jordan Spieth though. There he was, with his caddy, watching the ending of the Open just like the thousands of fans at St. Andrews. He then was one of the first to congratulate Zach Johnson as he came off the 18th after just winning the Open. Total class on his part and something you rarely see.
In this age of “look at me athletes” and the constant onslaught of negative press surrounding so many involved in athletics today, it’s nice to see a guy doing it the right way- with dignity and class.
If someone would’ve told me that Lisa Ann, the #1 ranked adult film star in the world according to the NY Post, would one day be holding one of my trophies, I definitely would’ve said to please tell me the rest of the story. The recently retired actress and star of such films as “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?,” “Milf Revolution,” and “My Sister’s Hot Friend” (which also stars Nicole Aniston and Jessica James by the way) has now joined the world of fantasy football. An avid sports fanatic is the voice of “Lisa Ann Does Fantasy” on SiriusXM. And believe me, she knows what she’s talking about. All the proof you really need is the fact that she won the SiriusXM Fantasy Football League last year and will now be immortalized with an engraved plate on the front of the Throwback trophy. Congratulations Lisa Ann and good luck this season defending your title.
It’s Thursday and I ran across an old photo of me with the original Armchair Quarterback fantasy football trophy. Thus I had to post it as a #TBT (Throwback Thursday). It’s gotta be circa 1995. As you can see I have one sweet tux on and the trophy looks a bit different. That’s because the original trophy was made out of plaster. The base is also pine instead of solid oak. As for me, I look exactly the same. Ok, not quite.
The Demarcus Cousins trade talk is definitely heating up as the NBA Draft approaches. I imagine today and tomorrow will venture into silliness as the dreaded “league source” will surely be quoted multiple times in these waning hours. Today the “Cousins to the Lakers for the second pick and Julius Randle” has become the popular topic of the hour. It seems reasonable but will the Kings pull the trigger? Sending Cousins away to play with Kobe Bryant is a scary proposition for a divisional rival.
Beyond all of the speculation, it’s hard to imagine that in this era where the superstar rules the roost, a team would listen to their head coach and trade away their best player. Let alone when it’s the 5th coach in five seasons and Cousins still has multiple years left on his current contract. George Karl has a track record of success but he also has an equally long record of irritating his star players. From Ray Allen to JR Smith to Carmelo Anthony, they’ve all had their own problems with Karl. Maybe it’s because he’s an “old school” coach that wants to build a team that doesn’t rely too heavily on one player but rather win with team basketball. The problem is that doesn’t seem to work in today’s NBA. Even the Spurs, who many regard as the definition of team ball, had a superstar in Tim Duncan.
One thing is certain. Either Cousins gets traded away or when the season starts it’ll be time to pop some popcorn, pull up a chair, and watch the spectacle that will be Demarcus Cousins and George Karl trying to coincide after this offseason mess.
For the third year in a row, my son Sebastian decided that he’d like to play paintball with his buddies for his birthday. And every year I tell him I’m ALL IN! I may be the “old guy” that can’t run as fast as these teenagers but it doesn’t matter much when a paintball is flying at your ass. I like to think of myself as the savvy vet who has years under his belt. After all, I started playing paintball when I was a teenager and the original and only gun you could buy was the Splatmaster. A plastic, single pump piece of crap that only held 12 paintballs at a time. About eight of us bought it at our local hardware store and we’d play almost every weekend. It didn’t take long before we were all buying advanced guns and spending way too much money on gear. Including a silencer I purchased to go onto the end of my pistol. It created a cool muffled sound that was totally distinctive and told all my friends the end was near.
Playing with Sebastian’s friends compared to mine is a bit different. My buddies would take chances and didn’t care much about getting hit. The crazy death charge of a flag was all part of the game. A face shot was something you’d take with you to school the next week with pride. Which happened quite a bit because we played with only the old school shop goggles and no face shield. We didn’t have many rules besides play until we all ran out of paint.
I will say though that this birthday party things definitely got more intense. As the day came to a close and we only had about 15 minutes left in field rental, we all decided to play one more game. A judge suggested we play what he called “Iron Man.” A name that meant you’re only out if you call yourself out. Some reluctantly agreed but it was ON! We went to a speedball field where you don’t have any trees for cover, just geometric shapes in an area that is roughly 40 x 40 yards. When the horn sounded paint was flying everywhere. Kids were scrambling to find cover and not get hit as I decided to go straight up the middle of the field. I decided the only way I was going to call myself out was if I ran out of paint. Let’s just say that never happened.
I eventually got in a shootout with about 3 kids at a range of about 10 feet that resulted in welts on my back, side, and arm that will probably take several months to heal. Was it worth it? Hell yes. It was a total blast and took me back about 25 years. Sometimes the “old man” can even muster up some teen spirit or what many may call, “stupidity.” And next time they’ll know that unless I run out of paint I won’t be the one saying “OUT!”
Being better connected with fans of FantasyTrophies.com is always something I’m interested in improving. Facebook and Twitter have been my go to platforms in trying to do just that. However, lately I’ve been stepping up my game on Instagram and I really like the results. It allows me to post what I’m doing around the shop or drawings I do on my commute on the NYC subway. Being an artist I’m always drawn to the visual side of things and Instagram definitely allows me to better communicate with my fans and customers through photos. So if you haven’t already checked it out, my account is @FantasyTrophies. Hope to see you there. -Dave
The Cleveland Cavaliers may have lost to the Golden State Warriors last night in the NBA Finals but things are definitely bright in my hometown. I can admit without hesitation that the Warriors were the better team. They were also the healthier one. Cleveland played the entire series without Kevin Love and only had Kyrie Irving for the majority of game 1. That’s two All-Stars in their prime sitting out the biggest series of their lives. Not to mention Anderson Varejao was lost early on in the season. With that said, Lebron was still able to carry the Cavs to game 6 before running out of gas in the end. It’s rare that a team in Cleveland loses and fans aren’t completely devastated. However, this is one instance that we can say “wait until next year” are truly believe it.
As game 6 of the NBA Finals is about to tip off, the question on the minds of many is if Lebron will be voted the series MVP even if the Cavaliers lose. I for one think he should. The MVP award doesn’t state that it needs to go to a player on the winning side. If that is not a prerequisite than Lebron’s name should be on it hands down. He’s putting up numbers that have never been seen in the history of The Finals and we may never see again. No other player has ever been asked to carry a team without it’s other two All-Stars in trying to win a title. Lebron is proving just how amazing he is and that win or lose he deserves the MVP. In my opinion.